No, it’s not the bugs, although they do,well, bug me and appear to be getting bigger and louder with every passing day. Then there’s the flea circus formerly known as my 10-pound toy poodle, Alfie.
The heat, and especially the “humility” (as my dad used to say) are challenging if only in the redundancy of it all. Back in Virginia, the saying was if you don’t like the weather just wait ten minutes… it will change. Here in the sunshine state, I am experiencing the perpetual state of, er, sunshine. (Although I’m told we have entered the rainy season during which there is a downpour accompanied by cloud-to ground lightening between 3-7 PM every day for the next five months. Goody.)
The tourists are about twenty miles away from where I live and work and only enter my world if I choose to enter theirs through the occasional obligatory foray into the “attractions” domain, or am forced in that direction when attending one-day trainings that are held in hotels in that neck of the woods (more on that later).
Being so close (and yet so far) from the Atlantic Ocean is a bit of a frustration along with the corollary challenge of finding the wherewithal to overcome my aversion to going to the beach, or the pool, or other outdoor “hanging out” activities without anyone to hang out with me. So far serendipity has not been my best ally in this regard.
I’ve warmed up to Publix (the equivalent of Giant Food back in VA), found a great chiropractor (more on that later too), a groomer for me, a hairdresser for Alfie, work friends, church friends and activities, a $3 car wash, and was recently told I looked tan (thank you Natural Glow) and healthy.
Nope, not the alligators (haven’t seen one yet), nor the proximity to the airport (love watching these monstrosities take off and land which such grace). Believe it or not, the one aspect of life in Florida, or at least in Orlando, that has literally driven me to distraction is the parking lots! May I please have the hours back that I’ve already spent in the past six months driving in circles in these mazes? Granted, geography is a major factor – there is water everywhere here (news flash), so the parking lots of adjacent strip malls or even individual businesses are not connected to one another. Apparently there is also an obsession with controlling the egress and ingress on the main roads. God forbid there should be more that one way to get in and out of a shopping center that spans several blocks!
I’ve never read Who Moved My Cheese? and now I’m more convinced than ever that I will never need to. If there is ever an amber alert (or would it be silver?) on me – just check the parking lots. I’m the hamster in the alien green Kia Soul.